Marquee Mascot Matchup - October 30, 2004

MARQUEE MASCOT MATCHUP - OCTOBER 30, 2004

Texas Longhorns
(6-1) AT Colorado Buffaloes
(4-3)

Tale of the Tape:

Longhorn		Buffalo
Bos Bos	*Scientific Name*	Bison Bison
6 ft, 2000 lb	*Size (Height, Weight)*	6 ft, 2000 lb
2, up to 6' spread	*Horns?*	2, smaller, sharper
Prairie, Grassland	*Native Habitat*	Prairie, Grassland
Grass	*Likes to Eat...*	Grass
Herds	*Congregates in...*	Herds
Yes	*Deterred by Fencing*	Not Really
Bevo	*Mascot's Name*	Ralphie
...Sony's newest electronic gadget	*...Sounds Like*	...the kid who stole your lunch money
Sierra Steaks	*Try one at:*	Bubba's Texas Burger Shack

Preview:

Friends and fans, welcome back to the Marquee Mascot Matchup. We've got a dandy on tap this week, featuring two of the most distinctive mascots in the land. The Bovine Brawl pits the 6-1 Texas Longhorns against the hard charging Buffaloes of Colorado.

The 'Horns come in strong favorites, packing solid wins over Tigers and Bears. They sport size and strength aplenty, but their major asset in this contest will be the size of their horns. Texas needs to engage these bad boys early, looking to crack open a few hides and open the gates for a goal line stampede. Defensively the Longhorns must be aggressive against an opponent that will prove very difficult to tackle (ask a Yellowstone park ranger). The best bet would be flat out, unrelenting goring at every available opportunity. The 'Horns' vulnerability lies in their genetics, where years of inbreeding have left them kinda empty upstairs. Likewise downstairs, as like many barnyard animals, Longhorns are typically missing their cajones. Doubtless part of the Buffs' game plan will be to take advantage and get the 'Horns off their game. Texas will have to keep cool heads to avoid being rattled by such epithets as "Hey Horn Dogg, where's your balls?!"

According to mystical Sioux legend passed on through many generations, Buffaloes "totally kick ass". Hardy, tough, and extremely powerful, the Buffs will live or die with a pounding running game. With much smaller horns, Colorado will need to pick their spots carefully, and stay quick on their feet to avoid being impaled. Speed is on the side of the Buffaloes, and while they'll certainly power up the middle, they must also take advantage by spreading the field. On defense, the Buffs need to stay low, avoiding the horns and going for the exposed Longhorn legs. The spread of the 'Horns' horns is also bound to leave gaps that may be exploited by the blitz. Gametime weather looks superb, with no advantage afforded either way. The 'Horns will be tough, and the Buffs better come ready to play.

Outlook:

There's blood, guts, and nice looking steaks everywhere (bring your A1?). Texas leads the stampede on the size of their horns, but at the end of the day, I went to Rice. Bring me another Bevo burger!

Buffaloes, 17-14.